That's intense
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
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