i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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