i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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