I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
