You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
