we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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