Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
zippers are such a cool invention
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
There r osticjed everywhere
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Randomize
