Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
