I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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