yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
