He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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