I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
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