i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize