Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
