Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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