i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
