Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
