He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
