Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
