i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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