R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
There r osticjed everywhere
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
