real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
you're hired as official boob wrangler
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
