The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize
