i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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