Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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