Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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