Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He better not be in your backpack
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
