If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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