i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Even my vagina gasped.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
