Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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