I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
