people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
