I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Randomize
