Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
