where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
