he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
