we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
