If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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