So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
