Dual....:-)
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Randomize
