Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I am mentally ready for anal.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
