4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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