Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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