I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
