I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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