the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
