where am i from again
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
