I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
