My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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