So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize