I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You brought string cheese to the strip club
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
