she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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