Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
