Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
