I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
