I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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