craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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