If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
