I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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