Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
