I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
it's like heaven, but drunker
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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