laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
