About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
