He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize