Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
