I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
