dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
